After Aziza’s mini engagement, everybody seemed to be very busy all of a sudden. From wedding planners to who’s catering the food, from center pieces to serviettes, everybody was getting on my nerves.
“Maleeha, please come here.” Ughh not again!! Okay, maybe I was just over reacting. But seriously was a wedding even necessary?
To make matters worse I had just come out of hospital, yet they wouldn’t give me a break.
There were many times that I wished that my family was a little more Deeni inclined. But even through my countless duas nothing seemed to have changed.
Yes it may be the will of Allah that they would realise eventually, but I wish it would be sooner.
Take Aziza’s mini engagement for example, Hamza going on his knees and asking her to marry him, that was completely unislaamic. Okay, I admit I had also become excited in the moment, but just looking at each other was wrong.
“MALEEHA.” Getting up, I walked slowly downstairs, knowing that once I’m there I will not be left in peace.
“Mal….. Oh there you are, please come and help us choose a cake for the wedding, Aziza cannot decide.”
Me: “But mum, wasn’t all of this decided? Why do y’all want to do this again?”
Mum: “Maleeha! Stop questioning everything, if you must know, your sister said that it would remind her too much of everything that happened, so she prefers to have everything different. Now please help.”
I sighed. Not again! My sweet sister was slowly turning into a monster. She was really driving me mad with all her demands. I think it would be safe to say that she put bridezilla to shame with all her demands.
Everything had already been decided, but ever since Hamza’s disapperance and reappearance, she’d decided that she wanted everything completely different this time round.
Finally after what seemed like hours I was left alone, feeling the comings of a headache I walked towards the kitchen in search of Panado’s. Taking them I walked back upstairs in time to hear Aziza say, “She just sits and acts like she does work. Just because she came out of hospital she expects to be treated like a queen.”
My blood was boiling, seriously, is this what the wedding was doing to Aziza?
Resisting the urge to go up to Aziza and give her a mouthful.
I recited silently words of advise from my beloved apa *Man somata Najaa* ‘he who keeps silent will be safe’ and walked to my room, wishing with all might that the time would pass and the wedding would be over and everything would return to normal.
I groaned under my breath. Going over to her, I wanted to scream at her as she asked. “Which make up artist do you think I should use?”
Sighing I said, “Aziza, I really don’t know, why don’t you use the same one you were going to use? Sorry, I have a really terrible headache at the moment and I’m going to lie down.”
Aziza: “Please help me Maleeha. I want everything to be perfect for Hamza, but all you can think about is yourself. You know what, it’s fine. I don’t need your help.”
She stormed off and I walked back to my room, tired and upset. I seriously didn’t know what to do at this point as Aziza and I had never had this kind of an argument before.
Instead of going to sleep as I had planned, I recited the dua for entering the bathroom and went inside. By the time I was done making wudhu, I had calmed down slightly. Taking out my mussallah, I read two rakaats nafil sallah and begged Allah to help me.
Going downstairs once again, I went in search of Aziza and to my surprise I found her walking towards me with a tray in her hands and a smile on her face.
Aziza: “Maleeha, I am soo sorry, please forgive me for being such a brat.”
Me: “No Aziza, it’s not your fault. I was the one being inconsiderate, please forgive me.”
So while we stood there arguing about who was right and wrong mum suddenly interrupted saying: ” In my opinion, both of y’all were wrong, now go take a break and clear your minds from wedding prep before the coffee becomes cold.”
Me: “You are so sweet Aziza, let’s go and drink it in the garden, like we always do.”
Sighing Aziza replied: “I wonder if we’ll get a chance to do this again.”
- Always make sure to NEVER give out personal information. Especially on the phone you may never know who is trying to get your informtion and why.
- Helping out the elderly is charity, so take the opportunity to assist whenever possible. Some may have elderly grandparents living with them, take the opportunity to make their khidmat. Try not to get irritated, instead be ready to lend a helping hand.
- Going down on one knee to propose is completely against shariah. It is completely forbidden. Nikaah should be made ASAP after finding the correct partner and no conversation should take place between them. Also it’s not right to submit yourself and kneel before anyone besides Allah.
- Anger is a problem many people are faced with. Yet few know how to deal with it. The correct way is to remain silent in order to prevent an argument from becoming a bigger problem. Turn away, calm down and address the problem later on when everybody has calmed down.
- Always try to be the better person by apologising first. Never let pride come in between. It is mentioned in a hadith something to this effect: “One who has an atoms weight of pride in his heart will never enter jannah.”